The Decemberfest Story

 there lived a giant. The giant had many loyal elves who traded with him. The giant provided the elves with the things they needed most to survive in the far out world. The giant would invite the elves to his annual Festival. The demand for his magic potions and the elves contributions helped to keep his vehicles tagged and insured and in generally good repair. The Festival grew more popular as the years passed. The giant would focus on nothing else in the weeks preceding the Festival. This was his party and he made all of the decisions and gave the elves their instructions. Wiley elves learned to stay out of sight of the giant during the party lest they be conscripted into the service of the giant. But the Festival was always a good time because the giant was in charge, there were no committees, no voting, no discussion. The giant was a benevolent dictator. The elves were, for the most part, happy. One day the giant had to leave the far out world. He left no instructions. The elves, having become quite used to this way of life, had to carry on without the giant. After all, it is a great way to get warmed up for all of the pagan rituals that follow the Festival. Many elves had acquired in-laws and children. They had left the far out world for the far less interesting world of their forebears. The Festival was an important link to the far out world and to all of the far out people who had shared that world with the elves.

The elves have found a new leader. This new leader is not a dictator but a democrat (small "d", Steve). The elves call his name often during the Festival to laud the great accomplishments of the new leader,

GENERAL DRINK!